Throw it All Away
by Skippy the Intolerant Lesbian
Summary: It's amazing how difficult decisions can be made easy with the right person by your side. Even when the whole world is against you. EDITED


Summary: It's amazing how difficult decisions can be made easy with the right person by your side. Even when the whole world is against you.

Skippy's Words: My getting into character is going pretty good for me so far. I think so, I may be wrong but oh well. I'm actually pretty close…I've really got nothing. Oh, yeah. I do. I'm typing this up while the sun is up. It's like only the fourth time I've done that. Ever. Anyway, about the song, I love the beat of the song. The singer…well…I believe the guy has yet to hit puberty. The song is great. The sound, instruments used, and lyrics are perfect together... I just wished they found a different singer or something. Just my opinion.

Disclaimer: The song belongs Everett Bradley, where as in the characters belong to the Sonic Team and are licensed by SEGA. The song was used as Shadow's theme in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle only they tossed that after they gave Shadow a bit more definition as more of an anti-hero than a villain.

Throw it All Away

Crackling fire. Shattered glass. Roaring smoke. City in ruins. Empty streets. Destruction all around.

All within a month.

All because Shadow the hedgehog just sought to uncover his past, make sense of all those flashing memories that deluge him from time to time, overwhelming even him. Drowning out all his sane thoughts until he just couldn't take it any more. Hallow recollections of his past that meant nothing to him now despite his absolute need to figure things out. It was as if the past was pulsing into him with every intention to bring him pain if only to not be forgotten. All the raven furred creature wanted was to figure out who he was and who this Maria was. Find out who the blue eyed blonde was that was shot before him by uniformed men. That's all he asked for.

And his answers?

His so called answers was everyone around him insisting on _bargaining_ with him. Trading his services for information that Shadow couldn't even tell is the truth or a fabrication. It was either bias information or sheer one-sidedness. All he requested was some help and instead he was forced to choose between doing the right thing, helping the only person who seemed to know anything about him, or traveling aimlessly throughout this forlorn planet in an attempt to discover things on his own through odd memories that would only confuse him further. Hope that one memory would insult him with the truth, staying long enough to explain things to him. No one would help him, so he had to make a choice before it was too late and he lost himself completely to everyone around him.

So he decided to do what was best until he figured things out.

And so began his endless journey through Hell.

_Now, wake up_

_Everybody tires to be straight_

_But things are still unchanged_

_It's useless to resist_

_Their effort will be wasted_

_Head straight for your goal by any means_

_There is a door that you've never opened_

_There is a window with a view you've never seen_

_Get there no matter how long it takes_

Doing the right thing got him absolutely no where. Shadow helped Sonic and his friends. Helped defend the planet and it's many inhabitances despite their unusual hatred for him. Not his cause, just him. Something deep inside of the dark hedgehog told him that he _should _help them. Help everyone he could so they had the chance to live happy lives, and hope that they do the same in return. Hope that he could do the same. But that was just a voice in the back of his thoughts. A loving and all too familiar voice that had a sweet melody to it however he couldn't put a name to it. Shadow knew that if he helped Sonic, that his good deeds would not go unnoticed. However, Shadow was not so sure that helping the human race would be of the best interest. Humans have hunted him down and offered no real reason as to why they had been instructed to do so. That is the main reason that Shadow helped Sonic and his friends, in hopes that maybe they could help him. They seemed to know who he was. They had known him before he had awoken a second time, when he had woken up not knowing a damn thing about himself aside from his name and images. But all they did was give him guilt trips and the truth in the fact that the Shadow the Hedgehog that they knew was, in fact, dead.

With each passing good deed he struggled to manage, struggled to control his anger as much as his insanity, the red streaked hedgehog felt a hollow happiness from deep within him. Hollow because he _knew_ that the happiness that he felt was not his own, the sensation that flooded him was artificial. Only to be described as a fake happiness.

Having much more than enough of this emotion that did nothing but plague his very being, the ruby eyed creature abandoned the 'hero' side in search for a truth that would be more helpful to him.

So he crossed over, betraying the trust of both his newly acquired friends and the human race.

_Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk_

_Throw it all away_

_And no one can break you, nobody can tear you_

_You live an endless life forever_

_Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk_

_Throw it all away_

_You see light where ever you go_

_You have to face it again and again_

Joining the Black Arms was both the best and worst thing Shadow did. He got his answers, along with a lot of different questions that arise to his mind. He now knew that humans feared his power and wished to destroy him, however they were desperate for his help as well. He also learned that it was human greed for power that had killed the only person that cared for him just because she got in the way of their mission. They wanted to make a perfect being and when they got too close, everyone decided then that it was too dangerous. Decided at the last moment, when the experiment was living and breathing, learning the ways of Earth and the good and bad, decided to exterminate what they had created. And a sweet little girl gave up her life to save her beloved friend.

Shadow knew this fact, and also knew that she was right about the human race not being all bad. However, that did not help clear things up for Shadow in the least bit. He wondered why she would say such a thing when they had shot her. Her own kind had shot her to keep his existence quite and to rid of him completely. They had killed her and she _still _wanted him to _protect _them. Just…why?

Guess Shadow would never get the answers to some of his questions he so desperately asked.

However, Shadow figured out the key reality that change in his life, and that was the fact that Black Doom was no different from the humans. Humans wished to do one of two things, and that was destroy him or control him. During his short time with the Dark Arms, Shadow came to the realization that Black Doom had every intention on doing the exact same thing. Controlling him. The only difference is, Shadow was the _only _one who could turn the tides of his plans and ruin everything.

And Shadow did just that.

_Again and again again again _

Now Shadow remains on the desolated planet that he was begged to protect after being nearly forced to destroy it. After what is to believed to be killing Black Doom and breaking his forces, the Black Aliens who were stranded on the planet were forced to keep themselves alive. They thrived in groups and often if one strayed they were never found again, often picked off by angry humans or even wild animals. Whatever was left of the humans fought to regain control of their planet and whatever was left of the black aliens fought for survival.

Shadow ditched the aliens out of sheer anger and self-loathing. The thought that he was nearly controlled by both humans _and _aliens was revolting to him. He knew that this was not his purpose. The dark furred creature may not have his memories from his past or any real clue as to who he previously was, but he knew damn well that he wasn't a tool for anyone to use. Not by the so called _superior _race of the Black Arms or the filthy earth monkeys known as humans.

Speaking of humans, they were no better. Since the Dark Arms invaded, the plentiful aliens started slaughtering people, causing a mass evacuation of any and all large cities. However, that could only keep people safe for so long. Supplies quickly ran low as time dwindled by, supply vehicles attacked and brought down. The humans who were greedy in the consumption of everything they possess were forced to make due with the little amount they could scrounge up. Once their sanctuary was breached, damn near everyone fell, victims to death by the hands of their invaders. Like the aliens, people left behind formed groups to stay alive, usually in small towns. It was a dog eat dog world as of late.

Shadow decided to destroy everything around him. He was angry and he just needed some place to put all his pent up anger. All his rage and frustration. And the planet that doomed him was perfect. He just couldn't catch a break and as far as he was concerned, why should he show mercy on anyone else when no one showed him such kindness without being punished by death? He was sick of being controlled. Sick of hearing about his destiny of destruction. Sick of the crying. The power. The voices. Everything that ate at his sanity and was determined to destroy him from the inside.

And so, he started his own destruction. Ridding of everything in his path, regardless of their history with him. Rather or not it was a living being or an object, before he left, it was on the ground in pieces.

Including those he had helped before.

Sonic could barely protect himself anymore, much less the people in the world, and was forced to make a decision. One he could not make lightly no matter how much time was put into the choice. The blue hero had to make a decission that would forever change his life as a hero and a friend. Shadow had forced him to abandon someone. He had to choose between saving people…

Or his friends.

_Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk_

_Throw it all away_

_And no one can break you, nobody can tear you_

_You live an endless life forever_

_Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk_

_Throw it all away_

_You see light where ever you go_

_You have to face it again and again_

"_Damnit_." Shadow hastily mutters under his breath to no one but his own ears, and even then it went pretty much ignored. Giving the alien gun in his grasp a test squeeze, the hedgehog's crimson eyes dart back at his target in distain, knowing he needs a new gun. Or more so, wanted a new gun so he did not have to use himself as that cursed weapon he was created to be. Once he started the whole destroying everything in blind rage thing, guns were both disposable and everywhere. All he had to do was kill either an armed human or alien and steal the weapon they carried on them. However, with over a month of constant slaughtering and people fleeing burning cities along his travels, Shadow was running out of options.

Sprinting enough to activate his hover skates, the black hedgehog silently sneaks up on the group of G.U.N. soldiers, who were awaiting orders. "Sir," one speaks into a walkie talkie. "Project Shadow had been sighted in the vicinity, we shall search then report to base." He spoke with precision, with no fear in his voice. Shadow sneers at this, pitying the poor, dumb creature. It wasn't that the man was brave. It was that he was just plain stupid.

"Very well. Report with any change of news." The receiver answered, clicking out as the man set the small box into his vest pocket. Three other men waiting around him, awaiting their order.

"All right men, lets move o-" Before he could finish, he was knocked out cold, or perhaps dead, with a metal hover skate right to the head. With a sickening crack, the uniformed man was on the ground, not moving in the least bit. Blood stains the ground, becoming bended with the loose dirt and dead grass.

There was a gasp from the other men. "Shadow!" They all raised their weapons immediately, with every intention on shooting, even with the delay of actions on their behalf. Two shots were fired, each piercing the ground with such power, shifting the dirt amongst the ground in haste. Having jumped out of the way, Shadow pushes forward, moving in on the other men.

The dark hedgehog is suddenly in front of one man, landing yet another kick only this time the target was the face. Shadow was unaffected by the crack of cartilage that trembled throughout his feet through his shoes. Blood splatters across thick, smoke filled air as the man is sent toppling backwards. With a twist to his lithe body, Shadow launches himself in another direction. The direction of the other man, smashing his collar bone clear open. Upon lifting his foot, Shadow could not only see blood, but the snapped bone stick out of both the skin and cloth that was worn. He came to the conclusion that he would have to use physical combat more often. The adrenaline was much more satisfying and filled him with a warm feeling that clenches his lust for revenge. Then the hedgehog realizes something. Something important.

Shadow had made a single error, and that was the fact that instead of rushing forward with his gun the last man instead stood back far enough out of reach. The hedgehog was still in the air, with limited movements for the next few seconds. Having yet to land, Shadow sees the gun barrel pointing right at him. That was followed with a, illuminating flash.

_You live an endless life forever_

_Forever_

From a far enough distance, a blue hedgehog watches as his black counterpart hits the ground. _Really _hit the ground. He knew for sure that the weapons that the G.U.N. soldiers carried now were not of the normal guns. A lot of research had gone into both the Black Aliens and Shadow the Hedgehog. And they had found out how to destroy _both_. There was big talk about how Shadow may have been a mutated or even a genetically altered version of the Black Arms. Black Doom was there during the first stages of Shadow's life and he also had a fair amount of effort in the creating process. The fact that Shadow too was black with crimson markings did little to help him as well. It was soon revealed that Shadow was one of them as well.

All that research and _finally _they discovered that the poisonous fruits that the aliens planted and the gas-like acid they poured into streets were not only poisonous to humans, but if properly mixed with the right proportions, were toxic to the aliens as well.

And Shadow.

Though they were not sure if it would actually _poison _Shadow, they knew for sure that it would wound him so that he could not heal as fast as his body normally would. All they had to do was make that _one _shot and they could finally take the crazed hedgehog out. Take him out and end his rein of absolute terror that Black Doom had foretold however not for his cause like he had tried to harness for himself.

G.U.N. got their wish, and Sonic wasn't sure he was ready to handle it. Green eyes watched the mere seconds that ticked as Shadow lays on the ground, stunned as to what had just happened. He knew Shadow wasn't bad, he was just confused. He needed help and no one was willing to give it to him. He just needed a fair chance. And that's all he asked for. And it was what he deserved.

Sonic keeps his eyes on the other, almost helplessly as Shadow lifted himself from the dusty ground, clearly enraged. Enraged with the fact that he was shot and he had let himself get injured. The dark creature got to his feet and lunge himself at the other man, who had not expected the hedgehog to actually get up. He never stood a chance either, and ended up eating one of his own bullets in a gory mess.

_Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk_

_Throw it all away_

_And no one can break you, nobody can tear you_

_You live an endless life forever_

_Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk_

_Throw it all away_

_You see light where ever you go_

_You have to face it again and again_

Emerald eyes watched as a seemingly sedated Shadow danced his fingers across the blood covered gun along with the ammo needed. The dark creature staggers a bit, bleeding quite heavily. The bullet was sent straight through the shoulder blade, which is probably why the poison didn't take it's effect, having not been able to dissolve into the bloodstream. Sonic observes as his so called twin looks around in a disoriented fashion, the azure rodent ducking as to avoid being seen.

Sonic gaped when he saw the utter depression in those dying eyes. Those once strong, fiery eyes having dulled down, now barely embers with only the occasional spark. Blood now stained his jet black coat, the white on his chest a pasty red along with the gloves he still wore though they were tattered and dirty. Crimson eyes gaze around, as if in doubt to the world that he now resides in. Sonic could clearly see the hesitation. The self-loathing. The regret.

With a shake of his head, Shadow stumbles off, only to feel woozy. The hedgehog rests on the wall of what remains of a business building, most likely a law firm. Shadow knew of the studying about him and his connection to the black aliens but could do nothing about it. He also knew that the bullet that had pierced through him may have done something to him though the only thing he can do now is hope to live through it, and not get shot again. Within a few moments, the wall he rests on is stained, dark crimson liquid trickling it's way down to the uprooted pavement below. Shadow's breath turns into light pants as he fills with worry. Something was wrong, the only thing he could wrap his mind around at the moment was that whatever the problem was, it only made him woozy, he was numb to most of the pain. Whatever he was injected with must have not taken full effect due to the fact he now has hole clear through him. Though now that he thought about it, it may be the simple fact that he has lost a lot of blood. Whatever the reason was, he wasn't very lucid.

Then his ears pick up on a sound. A familiar patter sound. Footsteps?

With dusty black ears twisting toward the sound, Shadow the hedgehog double checks. The sound was footsteps for sure. Quick ones too. Come to think about it…they were familiar and…this wasn't good.

"Sonic?" Shadow faces the source of the noise to see none other than the cobalt hero, looking a little worse for wear. Once a vibrant blue pelt is now dusty of it's once brilliant blue color, skin bruised and fur caked with dirt. He looked a bit skinny as well, possibly undernourished due to the shortage of food. Sonic looked exhausted as well, clearly in need of a good nights sleep. Then again, the raven hedgehog wasn't any better in that category even though sleep was a luxury for him, rest however, wasn't. Shadow figures that the blue idiot spends most of his time saving others, a foolish action in his eyes.

"Hey" a weak smile appears instead of that trademark grin, "it's been a while Shadow."

_Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk_

_Throw it all away_

_And no one can break you, nobody can tear you_

_You live an endless life forever_

_Oh dark, the darkness that dozes in the dusk_

_Throw it all away_

_You see light where ever you go_

_You have to face it again and again_

Needless to say, Sonic was scared out of his mind. He had seen Shadow kill many times before, each time seemed more ruthless than the last. He knew this wasn't a smart idea, but his gut told him this was best. He was also too worn out and exhausted to care anymore. Something had to give. This seemed to be the only way to end everyone's suffering. Including Shadow's, who has suffered the most though he had caused the most destruction.

"What could you possibly want?" Shadow hisses in an attempt to ignore the pain that was building in his shoulder, so that all Sonic could see was the blood and not the agony it caused. "Can't you see that I am busy?"

"I see that…" Sonic steps forward, taking timid steps as to not trigger Shadow's instant reflexes that seemed have been sharp moments ago but dull now. Sonic wondered if something was indeed wrong with the other. "I see that you are hurt. Do you need help?"

Laughter threatens to bubble out of the Ultimate Life Form's throat, only it is swallowed down. Instead, a scoff leaves his lips. "I don't need help from _you_."

Green eyes lighten up, knowing full well that that was a lie. Worry fills the tired hero. "You sure about that? Who else is gonna help ya now?" His cocky grin returns for a moment, right up until the second that pistol is lifted, aimed directly at him. "Whoa, hang on a moment Shadow, think about this." Sonic nearly stammers out, lifting his hands to show he brought no harm. He still felt this was the best however logic told him it wasn't. "I'm tryin' to help you here."

The gun is not moved, causing cobalt fur to stand on end in fear for his life. "Why should I believe you?" Blue ears pick up on the frustration of regret. Sounded like the black hedgehog was doubting himself. _Breaking_. "Why should I have believed in any of you? All everyone wanted was to control me or gain from me. I will not tolerate it any longer!" The rage and hatred was resurfacing, that spark returning to those dying embers in his eyes.

"I'm not tryin' to get anything from you. I just want you to stop." Sonic panics, knowing he can outrun a bullet when shot from humans. Not so much the Ultimate Life Form, who's aim is no doubt second to none.

The expression on the crimson stained hedgehog darkens. "_Oh really?_" The male's lips curl into yet another sick sneer, fangs glistening in the setting sun. "You wish to stop me as to protect those fucking humans you seem so bent on protecting, do you not?"

There is no hesitation from the hero. "That's only half of it. I don't entirely want to protect the people right now, they can take care of themselves." Sonic explains, getting a look of doubt from his insane friend. Sonic himself couldn't even believe that he had said that. He wanted to help humans too however the circumstances wouldn't allow him to protect both people and his friends. "I just don't want any more to die."

"Then what is it that you want?" The gun begins to tremble in a bloodstained hand, Sonic is unsure if it is from anger or despair. To be honest, didn't look like Shadow knew either.

Stepping forward, the blue rodent advances cautiously. "Just…put down the gun Shadow."

"No!" The distraught male shakes his head violently, backing into the wall he had left when the hero arrived. He thought he shouldn't have to trust the hero. That no one should be trusted. _Could _be trusted. That he didn't need anybody and that he was doing fine. Perfectly fine. He was doing perfectly fine by himself and he did not need anyone anymore.

But these were all lies. And Shadow damn well knew this.

"Please." Sonic pleads, no longer moving because of the object he was pressed against by choice. Black lids open to be blinded light, a second or two was needed for ruby orbs to adjust to the glow. Shadow's eyes first see the bright sunset, oranges and yellows burning up the sky through fallen buildings. It almost seemed as if the sky itself was on fire. Then the blue that was Sonic, who had walked up to Shadow as close as he could until stopped. Stopped by the tip of the gun, which had found a temporary home buried in peach fur. Shadow nearly gasps at the fact that Sonic had allowed himself to be so exposed and open for death. "Please put your gun down Shadow" is whispered into the crisp air, in hopes to be understood. In hopes to be heard.

The plea goes unheard as Shadow fights his inner demons, fighting against his hatred and self pity. Against his doubt and distrust. Hell, against everything that made Shadow himself. Nothing seemed right anymore, but didn't seem wrong either. Actually, to Shadow, everything around him seemed like one, never ending _nightmare_. One that seemed as if he could wake out of at any minute only something wouldn't _allow _him to. As if it enjoyed toying with him. The reluctant hedgehog is ripped back into reality when he feels a light weight on his gun, pushing the metal-like material downward, out of the way. "Answer me hedgehog, what is it that you want from me?" He tries again, not really registering the fact that his weapon was now hanging by his slim side, out of reach to bring harm to anyone.

Gloved fingers find their way through charcoal fur, through the ivory tuft and over trembling shoulders. Sonic was careful to avoid the wound on Shadow's left shoulder on the venture, making sure not to harm himself as well on the shoulder quills that hand from the other's back. "Do you really need to ask Shadow?" Sonic pulls the other hedgehog close, resting his head on the uninjured shoulder. "I want you to be _happy_." Sonic speaks slowly with care, so that the distraught creature in front of him can understand. The blue counterpart easily recalls the rumors of the so called 'heartless' past of Shadow the Hedgehog, or _Project _Shadow. The more Sonic thought about it, the more Shadow seemed misunderstood. That he must have a lonely life, feeling abandoned and forlorn. And with the way that he was treated and used, that the Black Arms and even humanity had asked for what they got. Deserved to be taken down in such a violent and disgraceful manner. A scientist created Shadow for the soul purpose to _help _mankind, however, if mankind chooses to abuse that creature, it should be of no shock that that creature would retaliate. It is just like with a beaten dog. Sonic wanted to help everyone, but knew he could not. When he was faced with the choice to help mankind or those close to him, he chose the side that Shadow was categorized in.

And Sonic cared about him.

A lot.

"Wh-what?" Shadow manages to stutter out, clearly perplexed by the blue being before him. In front of him. _Embracing _him.

The dark furred male could feel the other nuzzle him. Breathing lightly, somehow relaxed in the situation. "I want you to be happy Shadow." Sonic repeats. "Whatever the cost is to me…be happy…"

"I…" Shadow was at a lost for words. He now understood Maria's choice and words. She sacrificed her life to save him because she loved him dearly. And now he is faced with yet another decision. Sonic was basically _offering _his _life_ to make him happy. He knew that if it made the Ultimate Life Form happy, he would give up his life in hopes of a smile. Even if it were a slight smile, at this point in time, a smiles' as smile. No matter how small it would be. "Can I just…_change_? Just like that?"

There is no hesitation from the hero as he nods, tightening his hold.

Without another word, tears fill Shadow's eyes, with the very threat of pooling out of his eyes to cascade down the tan fur of his muzzle. Right about now, he couldn't care less about the tears that sting his eyes. The broken creature also joins the embrace, wrapping his bloodstained arms around the thin frame of the hero.

Shadow forgets his past for a moment, not bothering of what to do now. Only of what _may _come and what could _possibly _come with Sonic by his side, with his love. It would take time, but in the end, would be worth every second, every tear and every death. Shadow also realizes that he may not ever get his memories back. And that it was okay. Why dwell on the past? If he were to do that, he would never have a future, and never have memories to look back upon later.

With tears rolling down tawny fur, both hedgehogs embrace their now forever linked lives. Sonic lifts his head ever so slightly, witnessing the tears of the Ultimate Life Form. Peach lips meet with tan ones in an instant, pressing lightly with care.

Blood covered hands open in shock before melting with those ever forgiving lips.

The object in hand plummets to the earth.

There is a faint metallic clatter, the sound of metal hitting concrete, echoing through out the deserted city. The _sound _goes unnoticed, but not the _meaning_.

Since the fall of Black Doom and his rule along with the fighting heroes, guns have been Shadow's safety net. His _life_. Whenever the red streaked hedgehog ran out of bullets, he simply tossed the gun in search for an armed alien or G.U.N. soldier. He'd kill them without a second thought only take off with their weapon. That was how he got around and lived. He always had a gun in hand.

The echo dies down, marking the end of Shadow's destructive life. The gun he dropped for Sonic would no longer bring harm to anybody, along with it's previous owner.


End file.
